The men of my life (Part I)

He was an achiever. Coming from a simple family, he became the pride of his parents. He had numerous awards and recognitions in and out of the country. He became the best of what he could be. He was my father.

As far as I can remember, he had been a professor in a well known university in the country. Teaching was not merely a job to him, but a passion. Some students admired him, others despised him. All I know is that he devoted nearly half of his life to teaching. Teaching was his life and it was taken from him.

He got his highest education in Thailand. During those years, I and my younger brother had to live by without a father. I only knew him because I saw him in pictures given to us by our mother. We were young to understand that he had to leave us for years. At an early age, I felt far from him. So when he got back, I never really got that close to him as a father. All I knew was he had my last name.

As the first born, he was depended on by his younger brothers and sisters, even cousins and other relatives. I saw him give his time and money to answer and solve numerous problems of his family and relatives. He was a philantrophist. Our house became open for those in need. Many times, my mother thought he was being taken for granted. But my dad had a generous heart and helping hand.

He had vices, smoking and drinking. I hated his puffs of smoke so much. I had to stay far from him because I could not bear the foul smell. Maybe that is why he always stayed in the master's bedroom when all of us were in the living room. My mom also hated the smell and two of my brothers had asthma.

He was a good father to us. He was the provider and decision maker. Often times, we asked him for our allowance. He was also the one who decides on whether we would be joining field trips. I rarely saw him smile. He was forever serious in everything he did. Still, when I asked him to help me in my homework, he never refused to give me some help. He was always there when I get to receive medals and diplomas. I am forever grateful that he had been my father. But I would not be able to thank him and show him how much I loved him. Not now.

For some reason that until now I could not understand, he lost his job. He had an early retirement and had to move away from us because of his pride. He could not bear the thought of not being the family's head, that he could no longer bring food on the table. I was deeply saddened by all these and we had to face it as a family. Though recently, I got another sad news. The thought of it hurts so much, it pierces an already wounded heart. From then on, I lost my father.

I admired my father. I persevered in my studies because I love my parents. My love for my parents, whatever they are now, whatever my father is now, will never cease. Time heals everything and so is this. I am lifting all the hurts to God for He loves me.

My Christmas Party

I celebrated the Christmas party with my officemates rather differently this year. Parties have become a venue to refresh minds away from work, see the brighter end, wish everyone a happy holidays and for some, bon voyage. I am used to saying our goodbyes to colleagues who are changing their career paths, either by going to school or moving to another workplace. But this year was different because I was the one saying my goodbyes to them.

It has been three and a half years since I got this first job. Being my first, there had been so many trials, challenges, failures and of course, success. I learned so much about work and life. I gained experience that made me stronger as a person. I found very dear friends and made forever friendships and networks. Most importantly, I discovered myself.

Young and inexperienced, I thought that I could do anything on my own. But with my constant interaction with people of different backgrounds, I learned to situate myself and seek their help. By this way, everyone participates and everyone owns the success.

I also got to experience my country. I had so many business trips turned into wonderful discover trips around the nation. From the north to south of the Philippines, I saw her hidden wonders. More and more, I became proud to be living in this paradise.

But then again, success is much sweeter because of failures. I also got into many disappointments and crying times. Through these, the bond between my dear friends have become stronger and everlasting. With their love and support, I am still standing and smiling. I would not have been stronger as I am now.

This year, the Christmas party was very special to me because I get to flashback on memories we made during my stay in this office. It was heartwarming that colleagues and superiors are bidding me their heartfelt wishes of good luck. I am so blessed that He gave me the opportunity to grow with this office, my second family.

a family reunioun

This morning, mom and I were discussing about raising funds for my expected arrival in Aussie. We were trying to gather some cash for my first few weeks. Then the topic shifted to our upcoming family reunion in December when my elder brothers are coming home here in the Philippines. We are expecting them to spend some time in our new house together with our nephews and niece. It would be a great Christmas for us since, I thought, we will be "complete". Out of no where, I asked my mom, "does dad know any of these?" My mom, blatantly said, "No."

It was a few weeks back when I noticed my mom cleaning and rummaging around our new house. At first, I thought, "it is about time to get rid of trash." What I meant of "trash" is dad's stuff. I thought maybe mom has finally getting rid of dad's trash. I did not know that she was getting rid of dad's memories.

I was eating my toasted bread this morning when mom handed me her celphone showing a text message from my aunt, dad's sister in law. It was a heartbreaking news I could not even swallow. But with a deep breath, I swallowed everything with a large gulp of orange juice. Now I know why dad has not been around for a while.

At this moment, I could not express the hurt and anger mixed in my heart towards him. I just could not believe that a decent man like him would do such a thing. Not only it hurts mom so much, it will also hurt my brothers and sister, their sons and daughters, and my other loved ones if they would know. It would hurt my family slowly like a venom poisons a soul. For me, I am truly and deeply hurt.

For now I am just clinging on Him above. I know that He would not give sorrows and pains that my family could not bear. We will be able to surpass this, with Him and prayers in our hearts. With His grace and love, I know I would be able to forgive him someday. I love God, and He loves my family.

Cheezy lines

Patingin nga ng kamay mo.. Hindi naman pala ganun kalaki, bakit hawak mo ang mundo ko?

Girl: If you were a thing, what will you be?
Guy: Your everything!

Dalawang beses lang kita nais makasama: now and forever.

Pag tinitignan kita, pwedeng tignan mo din ako? Para may pagtingin tayo sa isa't isa.

I hate all the letters in the alphabet, but i love "U".

Ang babae parang algebraic expressions...pinakamaganda in its simplest form.


aysus!

My mission

Here:

It's 3:30 in the afternoon and I am in the office. This is the time when I just want to take a break from more than three years of updating literature, searching for rather new knowledge, and communicating results to a variety of audiences. After all these years, I must admit that research work has been tiring yet fulfilling, and I would love to have a change in my environment.

After spending a fortune for proficiency exams, application fees and requesting for countless reference letters, I finally got myself a scholarship. I remember I cried that day when I read an email about it. To my joy, I even printed that very email and kept it dearly. At last, I have the opportunity that I have been praying for for months.

Hence, this is the right time to give thanks to God and for all the blessings that He has been providing me. I must look back to those who have been supportive of me from the very beginning. This is my mission for the last few weeks before I get myself on that plane: I will take this chance to thank these people. Wait for me, I might be knocking on your door.