my first exam and i'll flunk it

The feeling is horrible. It was an hour exam that felt like it was just a few minutes. I tried to answer all the items correctly, but it seems like my answers are all wrong. I was studying for that damn exam for days,weeks and I actually thought I had mastered it. But I guess, I was wrong. And I have to move on.

Life is like an exam. You may be right at some points in life, but you may also be wrong at some points. Like an exam, you can only experience it once. There is no coming back once the lecturer says, "pencils up!" You may have regrets. You may want to turn back time and study again, but you just can't. One time, and that is all. Like life, an exam is a learning experience. You get to know yourself better, what your strengths and weaknesses are. You may be good in making and keeping friendships, romantic relationships or family ties. You could be weak in developing your career at some point. But what matters is you recognize these, strengthen capabilities and make weaknesses become strengths. An exam, like life, is a learning experience because you would be able to build your personal strategy on how to go about things that matter to you.

I may or may not flunk this exam, but at least I now know my strategies in studying HARDER. I may or may not make a good career in the future, but at least now I can start building my career plans and equip myself with concepts and models that I could use in the future.

i broke up with my sc.calcu

dear sc.calcu,

matagal-tagal din tayong nagkasama. naalala ko pa, pinag-aagawan ka pa namin ng officemates ko at lagi kitang pinaglalaban na parang sa yo ko lang makukuha ang hinahanap ko. madaming beses na sinagip mo ang buhay ko lalo na sa pagsolb ng mga problema sa mundo. pinagkatiwalaan kita ng sobra sobra.

pero kailangan na tayong maghiwalay dahil nag-iiba na ang aking pangangailangan. alam kong nandyan ka lang umaalalay sa akin, pero kailangan kong matuto at lumago sa bagong pamamaraan. kinalulungkot ko na hindi ako matututo at lalago sa piling mo...

minahal kita na parang akin, pero may mahal na kong iba.

paalam scientific calcu. i lab u, financial calcu.

drama!

A sunny day in Armidale

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.


And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.